Day Twelve: What Dreams May Come
Here’s a question: am I finding it so difficult to get out of bed in the mornings since I started the meditation…
- because I’m sleeping more deeply as a side-effect of the meditation?
- because I’m not sleeping so well as a side-effect of the meditation?
- because I’ve reorganised my morning routine so I dive into the shower first?
- because of some other reason, maybe not even connected with meditation?
Hmm. It’s definitely a lot more difficult to drag myself out of the bed and I am, without exception, getting back into bed again after I’ve turned off the alarm, and staying there for around an extra half-hour.
I’m certainly sleeping differently, somehow. I can tell, because of the dreams. I’m still remembering dreams now, where I didn’t before — they say that everybody dreams, but if I was I certainly wasn’t remembering them before for a good long time.
So does that mean I’m sleeping more deeply, or more lightly, or just for a different length of time? (When you’re being woken by an alarm, all else being equal, going to sleep earlier or later means you wake up at a different point in your sleep cycle.)
Well, it’s hard to say, and sleep isn’t that easy to analyse. Not to mention that you need “dream sleep” as much as you need “deep sleep”, so even if I’m not sleeping so deeply it might not be a bad thing if dreams have arrived.
I’ve got to say, though, that it feels like I’m getting less good quality sleep. Even though I’m generally going to bed earlier, I’ve felt very tired in some of my morning meditation sessions, and it feels like I have less energy through the day at the moment.
This has led to certain slackening of discipline in the writing and in other areas, and, I think, a lack of focus sometimes, compared with my pre-meditation days.
Which is all a bit troubling.
I’m wondering whether I should put my morning routine back the way it was, and meditate during the evenings, rather than in the morning?
I’m not going to change anything yet, though. I’m going to give it another week or so before I start changing a routine that I’ve only just established. Maybe I’ll become more accustomed to it as time marches on…
Maybe I should get a waterproof alarm clock and put it in the shower. Maybe if I was already in the shower and I only had to turn it on, I might be able to avoid going back to bed!
Anyway. I’ll stop now. Sorry if this is a bit disjointed today, but I really am quite tired.